he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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