I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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