This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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