Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
