Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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