Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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