exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
