don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
