you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
being pregnant is like rehab
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
