a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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