he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
