remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
