i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
