So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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