glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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