are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
