Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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