I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
