Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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