I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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