she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The feeling are messing with the penis
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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