I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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