Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize