that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
