Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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