i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
