There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
