I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
