If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
