I accidentally had phone sex last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
