I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
