My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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