I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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