Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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