i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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