i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
high people should be assigned attendants
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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