He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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