can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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