Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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