Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize