Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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