I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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