I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
