Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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