she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
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I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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