So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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