Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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