As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
