her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize