She said her name was "party"
I accidentally burped into my bong.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
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Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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