Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
