that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
