I think I am morally bankrupt
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
