I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
