Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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