we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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