My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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