Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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