He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Green mimosas i think yes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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