so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize